warsquirtle:

Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life

(Source: wartortles, via blowoffs)

694,899 notes
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awesomewhispy:

bird-internet:

captainshenanigans:

Do you ever stop and realize that the average person doesn’t know what a ship is or what canon means.

We probably just all sound like pirates.

image

(Source: renious, via whyshouldwethink)

252,100 notes

goodfuckingcoffee:

packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip

unpacks 3 months after coming home

(via silveracte)

288,259 notes
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illkim:

Entire Class: *forgets to do homework*

Teacher: Well I guess I won’t count it

image

(Source: illkim, via i-know-im-short-thanks)

321,578 notes

when attractive people have low standards

image

(Source: bukkokay, via worsting)

267,018 notes

2bainzz:

yo fuck samsung users with the weird whistle text tone if I hear that one more time I’m going to drop kick your android into a lake

(via hey-s-h-o-n-a)

34,134 notes

fat-amy-for-president:

hardener:

person: get off ur high horse

me: image

that is a giraffe. try again.

(Source: 6592, via disowns)

32,896 notes